Persia Wears Purple Business Suits.
by IAmSuper
Summary: It was supposed to be serious, really. This is dedicated to everyone who says that stories can't write themselves.


Persia Wears Purple Business Suits.  
  
The state of my sanity decayed as I typed this.  
  
~~  
  
  
  
Youji was angry. New Year's had passed by without occasion, and Christmas had been overrun with Kritiker's present to him: missions. Even Valentine's Day, he remembered bitterly, had involved only one woman – one woman who had received a call from her husband about mid-date. Today, it was his birthday, and he was alone in the basement below the shop.  
  
He sat at Omi's desk, a blank piece of paper in front of him, and a pen in his hand.  
  
"Dear Kritiker," he began, speaking as he wrote, "I hate you." He hesitated, chewed on the pen, and then added, "But not Manx 'cause she's hot." He frowned. Good so far, but what was he forgetting? Oh. "Birman is too."  
  
Only then did it occur to him that he had so far met just two of the women who worked for Kritiker, and both of them were beautiful. What if they ALL looked like Manx and Birman?  
  
"Please tell me the next time you guys are throwing a party." He snickered, imagining the women in the office, shrieking in delight at the thought of Youji Kudou attending one of their boring parties. They'd claw at each other's red or purple business suits in a desperate race for the phone – because, of course, he had cleverly added his cel number to the letter.  
  
"Victory is mine," he muttered as he carefully wrote out the number.  
  
Then, a finishing touch: "Sincerely," because "sincerely" was very suave, "Kudou Youji."  
  
Ah, excellent. Had he spelled everything correctly? He read it over. Yes, he had. All done.  
  
"But," he said to himself, "they -(by they, of course, Youji means the lovely ladies stuck in their stuffy offices at Kritikier Headquarters, wherever that is)- would be much more inclined to invite me if I sent them flowers." So up the stairs he went, letter and empty envelope in hand, to get some flowers.  
  
It was Sunday;the shop was closed. There was no one to be seen. Stealthily, Youji tripped over his shoelace and knocked over a pot of lilies. Then, in an equally stealthy manner, he sneaked over to a display full of roses and selected the three best. Again he chuckled, thinking about those silly women arguing over the roses. There were, after all, not enough to go around. Ah, well. Life wasn't fair, especially where Youji was concerned.  
  
Finally, he placed both the roses and the letter in a box, and thoughtfully added a container of chocolates.  
  
Suddenly (and conveniently), there came a knock to the glass door. "What a pleasant surprise!" He greeted Manx and Birman as he held it open for them. "Unfortunately, I believe I'm the only one here at the moment."  
  
Manx shrugged in an out-of-character display of nonchalance. "Well, then we'll come back later." She turned for the door, Birman behind her.  
  
"Wait!" Youji cried.  
  
Manx looked at him irritably. "What?"  
  
"Don't you need to leave instructions for a mission? I can tell the other guys when they get back," he offered.  
  
"No; Aya left his boxers at my house, that's all," she explained.  
  
After Youji had recovered from shock, he said, "Well, okay. But can you do me a favour?" Birman looked at Manx, then nodded.  
  
"Take this to your offices at Kritiker." Youji handed her the box and winked. "Tell 'em it's from me."  
  
~~  
  
"Good evening Manx, Birman." Persia smiled from behind his desk. The two women glanced at each other awkwardly.  
  
"Um… we're supposed to give this to you." Birman set the box in front of him. "Youji said to 'bring it to our offices' and give it to someone. We figured that meant you."  
  
"I see." Persia carefully removed the lid of the box. "A envelope," he remarked as he put said item on the desk, "…roses," he added slowly, "and chocolates. Hm."  
  
Manx leaned toward Birman and whispered something. "Sir?" She then asked, "may I make a call? It won't take long." Persia nodded, and she ran around the corner and whipped out her cel.  
  
~~  
  
Youji was startled by the sudden ring of the phone, but he quickly recovered and answered it thus: "Evenin', this is Kudou Youji…" (This said in his most sultry voice.)  
  
~~  
  
Manx replied in an equally sultry voice: "Hey, Youji. This is Manx." She paused. "Persia wants you to know that he *really* enjoyed your little present – especially the chocolates – and he wants to wish you a *very* happy birthday."  
  
Muffled obscenity. Click. Dial tone. 


End file.
